Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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