So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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