Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize