im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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