my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
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