I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's blow job season.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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