just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Randomize
