Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
you made out with another girl for some wings
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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