sarcasm needs its own font
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
