he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
