All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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