kristin has been a bad kristin
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
