He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
