I murdered the dance floor call the cops
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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