I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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