She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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