oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
