Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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