What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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