This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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