i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
