The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
