sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
