I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
my liver is dry heaving
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
