you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
