Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
