Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
