Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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