i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
