I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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