Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My life is pants optional.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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