We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
