nut hugger
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You made out with two different species that night
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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