maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize