Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
