i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
