Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I still have a little drunk in my system
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
