Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.