he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.