I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
