So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
