she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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