ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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