The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Text me some of your sweat
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
