Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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