You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
