I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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