last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
