It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize