Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
even my farts smell like vagina
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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