i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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