it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
