.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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