i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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