You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
