Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
