is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
