if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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