we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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