I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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