Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
