nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
