I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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