"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
