AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
